You want to put that where?

A journey into IC and Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP). 2 seperate diseases of the bladder and colon.

Archive for the tag “genetics”

Rebecca Babcock’s docu-drama

Join me for the Minneapolis viewing of Rebecca Babcock’s docu-drama. This is her journey, thoughts and poetry while battling colon cancer and our shared rare disease, FAP. Her story is my story. Lush original score as well.

Suggested minimum donation of $10.00 at the door.
7 pm doors open- light finger foods.
7:20 1st showing.

9:15 2nd showing.

If you can’t attend- please send any donations possible to:

The Colon Club
Chris Wills
150 Dartmouth Dr.
Canfield, OH 44406
Write “VISITOR” in the memo!

Donations at their Website as well- indicate “VISITOR” on special instructions area.

http://www.colonclub.com/

http://visitormovie.wordpress.com/

We need to raise funds to get this ready for film festivals. This story needs to be told.

“Take the whipple out of your vocabulary”

I get attached to things. I always have as a kid. Just ask my mom. I would never say I was spoiled, I was a good kid, didn’t do much complaining (until I was a teen) and love having fun. It is funny now how I look at newborns and 6 year olds thinking, “you could be growing bowel polyps everywhere and not even know it”. I meet more people with my disease and I feel like more parents need to know you can have my disease with nobody else in the family having it, like me.

So as a kid my mom made Christmas magical for me, every year. I knew Santa didn’t exist by a certain age when I woke up at night and saw her doing the yearly ritual of setting up a new bike and stuffed animals and tons of gifts that covered the area rug int he living room. To her, it was a big deal to make it a fairy tale land every year. So I never told her I knew Santa didn’t really exist for years, so I didn’t ruin her fun. We were not rich but we lived in a very wealthy neighborhood on the beach in Pompano Beach, FL right next to the lighthouse. Prime real estate and a great area to grow up in. Some people want to go back in time to change things in life. If I went back in time I would have gone back to age 5 where I was care free and had nothing to worry about. The only thing I would change is demanding I had a colonoscopy when I had issues that were just brushed aside as IBS when I didn’t have IBS.

With all the toys I received every year I some how became attached to 2 things that were never given to me as a present. My uncle would come over and ask my mom, “Kris, does Vanessa not have any toys?” I of course had plenty. The first thing I became attached to was a gallon of water. I dressed it up in one of my baby dresses I had and carried it everywhere. I can’t recall how long this lasted but it was a good deal of time because the gallon of water had feelings and well, it can last a long time as is. The 2nd item was an eggplant. The eggplant was a lot smaller of course so I could dress it up in a doll’s dress and make a bed for it in my dresser. The eggplant didn’t last nearly as long as the water for obvious reasons but it went everywhere with me. I guess I some how feel that way about Polyp #1 and Polyp #2. I wasn’t attached to them, since they can kill me until my GI named them with the last scope. That some how brought back all of what I just typed about and how I get attached to things. With that being said Polyp #2 will hopefully be removed with the 3rd try by Dr hamilton since it doesn’t say nice things. I have my consult with the new specialist Tues afternoon, I guess then the 3rd upper scope I’d have had in a 2 month time frame will be scheduled. I was told to take the word whipple out of my vocabulary. I should never need it since I have to be so closely monitored now. those words don’t comfort me since this disease has no predictions.

I cry easier now, way more without a colon. Maybe it is the serotonin that no longer gets released since it is gone or maybe it is just the pain and suffering I am so tired of. But I do cry at least once a day but thinking of being a kid again because there was no physical pain and suffering and I had fun, something I just don’t do anymore. People say I look mean or angry, standoffish, etc. Truth is I hurt, all the time so it’s hard to smile. I am bitter and angry because it is a constant nag I can’t escape. I also can’t escape a city and state I hate living in. This disease is controlling me lately as much as I love to say it doesn’t. I need to find happiness, I need to be able to explore the world. I feel trapped and confined and I HATE that feeling. I can’t breath in Texas. I remember when I went to NYC to hopefully move back for a job that didn’t work out a few months ago. The minute I landed in Maryland I felt like weights were lifted off my shoulders. I could breathe, I wasn’t here. I don’t know how to get out of this place but maybe another year of saving will help me move on and be able to fly here if needed for maintenance since not all GI can deal with my disease. If I find work and don’t continue to need procedures.

I wish I still had my 401k and savings. This disease robbed me and moving to a state with no jobs for my industry didn’t help.

Let me introduce myself

First thing is first I never had a jpouch due to the issues I read about and knowing I would have even more issues since my whole rectum had to be removed due to a T1 tumor. In other words I had colorectal cancer. December 9, 2011 (5 months ago) I had a Proctocolectomy. Not a TOTAL colectomy (that leaves the rectum/anus in place) but a Proctocolectomy. It is annoying when a nurse in the ER even says total colectomy. Please know the difference.

In proctocolectomy, the large intestine and rectum camera are removed, leaving the lower end of the small intestine (the ileum). The doctor sews the anus closed and makes a small opening called a stoma in the skin of the lower abdomen. The surgical procedure to create the stoma (or any other artificial opening) is called an ostomy.

I also had a Cholecystectomy. That is the surgical removal of the gallbladder. All of my surgeries were done open as you can tell my my scar I sport in previous posts I have made.

There seems to be some confusion on what surgeries I have had. I think even some nurses believe there is some invisible ostomy bag hanging off me. So let me start with that.

I DO NOT WEAR A BAG!

I have a Barnett Continent Intestinal Reservoir (BCIR), an appliance-free intra-abdominal ileostomy. That means I am continent unlike someone with a jpouch, brooke ileostomy or colon that have to “go” when they have to go. I hold my shit until I feel I have to empty my BCIR. The BCIR is made out of your small intestine into a pouch that has a valve about 1 1/2 inch down your stoma that only opens with a catheter (standard is a 30french) to drain it. Please see image below for a better example. Nothing can come out or go in. The valve is a “lock”, the catheter is a “key” that is the best way to describe it. Some mucus might come out that the body naturally produces and a small band-aid over your stoma is placed to absorb that or. It is not shit/stool/ poop, but some mucus and clear liquid. Maybe a Q-tip worth is all I produce but I also DO NOT have UC. Some people with UC have other issues that can produce more mucus, like pouchitis (overgrowth of bacteria in the pouch).

BCIR
BCIR

KPOUCH
kpouch

A traditional stoma, where a person wears a bag that is outside of your body. A person with the BCIR or Kpouch has a flesh stoma. My husband can’t even see mine unless he gets on his knees and looks up. See image below. Meaning there is no stool that might leak, of course we don’t leak anyway due to our special valve that keeps us continent.

BCIR

My Stoma

My stoma sits almost in my pelvic area, it walks that fine line of pelvic and abs. It is below my belly button to the right, in the abdominal lower wall. I believe they are best in that area to prevent hernias.

I have had a vertical sleeve gasterectomy back in 2006. This is why I have a very small stomach but that so far is not related to FAP or the type of colon “replacement” surgery I had so that you can google :-) Hopefully I never develop short-gut syndrome. So far I am polyp free in my stomach.

Hopefully this helps people understand things. I believe more nurses and hospitals need proper education in dealing with continent ileostomies. If it needs a scope or foley you just put the thing in like you would be scoping an asshole. Not rocket science, people. Get out of the fucking dark ages and learn something.

Now to go into FAP (Familial Adenomatous Polyposis). FAP is a very serious genetic colon cancer disease that classifies you as a “high risk patient”. It may be genetic but 30% of people who have FAP are the FIRST to get it. I am the first in my family. FAP is usually from your father’s APC gene, it is a mutation of the APC gene. Just because we remove our cancerous or precancerous colons does not mean we are cured. There is no fucking cure for FAP, people. We are polyp makers. Some of us form desmoid tumors that can cause part of the body to be amputated or even worse, death. Just because a desmoid tumor is benign does not mean you are in the clear. They cause damage, they are hard to treat with chemo and they kill. Some people with FAP develop more desmoids while others never do. usually this is then called Gardner’s Syndrome (GS) but people should know FAP is FAP. You can’t have Gardner’s Syndrome and not FAP and usually GS is not even used anymore just FAP. FAP kills you by age 40 or sooner if the colon is left in. I was diagnosed at 35 with 100 polyps and stage one cancer. usually you are dead by my age or at a stage 4. Call it luck if you believe in that shit, I call it life and that is just how it is since I am not a bible thumper or believe in faith, luck, etc. It is science and fucking genetics.

Things that I form are Lypomas that are fatty cysts and can usually be removed by liposuction. I did my tailbone already that way. The reason I have some saggy skin that rests there so don’t say I have a fucking tail, I know the shit is there and it is rather old and annoying if someone points it out. Cysts are randomly in parts of my body like my upper back. I also form bone tumors. I have one in the inside of my skull and one in my knee, also believe I have a small pea size one in my jaw. The bone tumors are benign and not even worth thinking about. Been with me for life and not going anywhere so I see them as my additions. We also form other cancers, “possibly”, like Thyroid, Ovarian and the most common, Duodenal (he beginning section of the small intestine).

Extra teeth. If you have a child or you have had extra teeth that is FAP. Biggest sign of them all. So get your ass checked since the Genetic testing is not always right, there are other mutations that might not be picked up. Colonscopy is the 100% way of being diagnosed. I had 2 extra canines as a kid that were yanked. I also have impacted wisdom teeth but those don’t have to be pulled.

Eye “Freckles”. If you get your eyes checked and they say you have FAP (if they are smart they will tell you that) or seem confused and like my retarded experience that the guy told me “I had scar tissue that formed from a possible infection” I had. And I asked “what fucking infection?!” Go to a GI and get tested.

Hope that sums it up for everyone because I don’t wear a fucking bag, I have a continent reservoir and life is not easy. Don’t ask how we are doing all the time. We might have a rare disease but we aren’t dying that very minute. Guess what though? We are all dying every day and I might out live you, the person that isn’t sick or might not ever go through this or have a rare genetic disease. But do remember, colon cancer is the 2nd killer so it can happen to anyone, FAP or no FAP.

I am a crossfiter, I am an olympic weight lifter and I suck up the pain and discomfort of obstructions I have in my small intestine and valve pain and do squats or a fucking burpee. No excuses… unless you have a foreign object in you like a catheter for a slipped valve lol.

Be a bad ass no matter what and tell people to fuck off in the process.

Disgusting, I know.

Lets bring some reality to this blog. Here are some photos of my polyps. The large one was cancerous. I am predicted to be stage I. I almost think to myself, this is not me when I look at these. I try to avoid it.

 

 

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